Six press release leads to avoid

Channels / PR

How many of these have found their way into your releases?

Are you still using the fact pack — cramming who, what, when, where, why and how into the first paragraph of your news release? Are you still married to the dated “XYZ Company today announced …” approach?

These conventional formulas to press release leads are formulaic, old-fashioned and — let’s face it — dull.

Make sure these PR 101 leads don’t find their way into your releases:

1. Abstraction

Show, don’t tell. When writing news release leads, choose concrete details, not abstract ideas.

Good communication can prevent an accident from becoming a disaster.

2. Announcement

If you have something to announce, announce it! Don’t announce that you’re announcing it:

ABC Company today released its 2012 Corporate Sustainability Report, the first complete and integrated record of the company’s sustainability performance following the merger of ABC and XYZ in March.

3. Background

Background — also known as the blah blah blah — is no way to draw readers into a piece. Instead, leave the definitions, history lessons and broader context for the third paragraph.

Don’t start like this:

XYZ Company’s development of ear-blasting technologies began with the introduction of Make It Louder software in 2004. Since then, it has progressed to include three additional generations of ear-blasting technologies that continue to achieve the highest level of sound quality.

4. Fact pack

Instead of a “suitcase lead” — one you try to cram all of the story elements into — aim for a bikini lead. Cover just the interesting essentials.

After all, if you lead with all of the W’s, what do you put in the second paragraph?

On Aug. 4, XYZ’s first-ever system-wide physician networking event was held on top of the parking structure at XYZ La Jolla. With the theme, “Surf’s up on the Rooftop,” this well-attended event was open to all XYZ physicians and their guests, who dined on island-style cuisine and danced to a live band while watching the sunset.

5. Question

Planning to run a question lead? What if the reader doesn’t know — or care — the answer to your question?

Have you ever been in a situation where your personal interests seem to be in conflict with your responsibilities as an XYZ employee?

I don’t know. Have I? Maybe start by illustrating some situations where my personal interests are in conflict with my employment contract, instead.

6. Quotation

As anyone who’s ever interviewed an engineer knows, quotes aren’t necessarily riveting. And quotation marks don’t magically make them so.

“XYZ product is a smart, strategic investment for growers, and the ABC offer means it pays even more to plan ahead,” said Somebody Important at Allied Appliances. “XYZ product helps growers get the most out of every acre. Allied Appliances is doing all it can to ensure growers are prepared for 123 season.”

What to use instead?

Instead, make your release lead compelling with reader benefits, synthesizing the news or illustrating the idea with a feature lead.

Get the word out via email, press releases, social media and the web

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