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How to write a quote that sounds human

Add passion, personality to your sound bites

How to write a quote
Like a real person said it Write quotes that sound human, not like a computer spit them. Image by Rouzes

Add personality to your quotes through passion, humanity and colloquialisms.

Make it personal.

When two-thirds of Californians failed every question on a fast food nutrition quiz, the California Center for Public Health Advocacy distributed a release including this sound bite. The subject matter expert makes the story personal by talking about his own experience with the quiz:

“I have a doctorate in public health, and I failed this quiz,” says Dr. Harold Goldstein, executive director of the California Center for Public Health Advocacy, who commissioned the poll. “And common sense does not help either. Who would think that a large chocolate shake at McDonald’s has more calories than two Big Macs?”

Take me there.

In another release, spokespeople for the California Center for Public Health Advocacy demonstrate how hard it is to intuit the number of calories in a fast food item. The quote pulls me into the room and the demonstration:

“In a Capitol room thick with the smell of fast food and breakfast entrees, proponents of Senate Bill 120 (Padilla-D Los Angeles), the proposed nutrition menu labeling law, dramatically illustrated why this legislation needs to be signed by the Governor.

“‘You choose,’ Assemblyman Mark DeSaulnier prompted the crowded room as he displayed a plate with two Big Macs, one with four hamburgers and a tall chocolate milkshake. ‘Which has the most calories?’ Except for two insiders who admitted they had seen the study before, not one of the guests in the room chose the milkshake with its whopping 1,160 calories.”

Show some emotion.

This quote from a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign by the Illinois Coalition for Competitive Telecommunications does just that. As a result, it makes a yawn of a topic — telecom deregulation — interesting:

“This bill is an outrage,” said Gary Mack, executive director of the Illinois Coalition for Competitive Telecommunications (ICCT). “Businesses and consumers in Illinois have been suffering through the worst service problems in history because of (XYZ Corp.), and now the company is asking us to trust them to provide good service at a good price without any oversight? Do they think we’re nuts?”

Help us hear him.

This quote — from a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign for Xerox Corporations’ office makeover contest — is attributed to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s” Thom Filicia. Because we’ve seen him on TV, we can literally hear him say:

“Before, their office was just tragic! But now it’s really hip, sophisticated and professional, and it will help inspire them to grow and do more great work,” said Filicia.

Bottom line: At the very least, your quotes should convey humanity, passion and a point of view.

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