Who rocked our one-sentence-story contest?

Winner is witty, pithy and wise

Last month, I challenged you to model my favorite city magazine, Portland Monthly, and write a one-sentence story. Models included:

“News that Powell’s Books and Rogue Ales are collaborating on a beer infused with actual pages of Moby Dick raises the troubling prospect of 50 Shades of Grey-flavored absinthe.”

“Yamhill’s new high school viticulture program easily trumps the self-taught alcohol curriculum offered at most high schools.”

“History’s most depressing souvenir knickknack arrives: the newly released Portland skyline rain globe.”

Thirteen of you rose to the challenge. Here are the best of the bunch.

Familiar favorites

Two writers submitted favorite one-sentence stories written by others.

Skip Colcord, a communicator in Taunton, Mass., shares the best lead sentence he’s ever read. It was atop a feature story on illegal distilleries that still exist in remote areas of Pennsylvania:

“The moon still shines on the moonshine stills in the hills of Pennsylvania.”

Skip, I wish you could remember who wrote it, too!

Debora R. Murphy, manager of employee engagement at Ag & Turf Supply Management, shares a pithy, if familiar, tagline:

“Nothing runs like a Deere.”

A brief sports story

Alejandro (Alex) Morones, tech writer / editor III at The University of Texas at San Antonio’s Office of Information Security, summarizes a sports story in 38 words:

“The upstart Golden State Warriors ran roughshod over the bewildered San Antonio Spurs for 44 regulation minutes, only to have their victory party spoiled in the second overtime period by the almost-scapegoat, yet somehow last-second savior, Manu Ginobili.”

Ouch! Short and tart

George Dudley, communications specialist for the N.C. Department of Public Safety Communications Office, responded to an egregious math error in our latest issue with this one-sentence story:

“A ‘disease that kills 1,286 people out of every 1,000’ kills everybody and then some.”

Much as it hurts to laugh, George, I do love this one.

And the winner is …

Sheri Booms Holm, communications director for West Central Initiative, packs alliteration and an extended metaphor into a 20-word business story:

“Business incubators help hatch new ideas and give fledgling firms a chance to test their wings in a nurturing environment.”

Congratulations, Sheri! While I’d love to offer you a job at Portland Monthly, I will send you something else I love from my new hometown.