Funny formulas

Try these fill-in-the-blanks jokes

“If we can open your mind to laughter, we can slip in a little information.”

— Virginia Tooper, American humorist

Want to add humor to your piece? Two professional speakers shared these formulas in SpeakerNet News, a weekly e-zine for professional speakers:

Jargon jokes

I know, I know. Your organization is overloaded with jargon. Take advantage of the situation, suggests Paul Seaburn, “The Humor Handyman,” by writing funny definitions for the worst gobbledygook.

Use the formula “Back where I come from, a ___ is a ___.”

“Back where I come from,” Seaburn says, “‘megahertz’ is a huge car rental company, ‘Tai Bo’ is the last thing you do to a present, and ‘preferred carrier’ is a mailman who doesn’t read your magazines.”

Light bulb jokes

Write your own light bulb jokes by asking, “How many ____s [members of your audience] does it take to screw in a light bulb?” Seaburn suggests. Or twist the old light bulb joke by making it a remote control:

“How many managers does it take to set the clock on a VCR?” he asks. “No one knows, because they can never find the time.”

Location jokes

Writing an executive speech? You may be able to play off the location of the talk, says corporate comedian David Glickman. One approach: Find a town within 30 miles that starts with a V. Then play with, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From V___.”

“I know that’s true,” Glickman says, “because I read it in that local best-seller, ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From V___.‘”

Get humor help

Are you looking for someone else to fill in the blanks? Glickman and Seaburn write custom corporate humor.