Cut Through the Clutter
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Rate yourself as a writer
Write a world-class release
Steal these six techniques from Silver Anvil-winning campaigns
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
Most press releases are pretty easy to parody.
Just ask Benny Evangelista, a technology reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle. In a Softletter survey of media professionals about the quality of public relations, Evangelista complained of an increase in the number of “boilerplate” press releases — formulaic releases that all “sound basically the same. …
“Something like: ‘XYZ Co. Inc., a leading supplier of the world’s integrated real-time advanced software-aided microchips, announced today the availability of its latest product, the XYZ 4.2, version 3, which will revolutionize the software-aided micro-technology chip industry. “This will revolutionize the software-aided micro-technology chip industry,” said Joe Blow, XYZ Co. Chief Executive Officer and Founder.’”
Why do PR professionals flock to the fill-in-the-blanks model? Certainly not because it stands out in the crowd of all the other releases a reporter is likely to get in a day.
Instead of conforming to the conventional approach — which is dated, formulaic and, let’s face it, dull — choose a better model to follow. Study the winners of PRSA’s Silver Anvil Award, the highest honor in the public relations business. Here are some great approaches I found in the latest crop:
1. Write a feature lead.
Contrary to popular opinion, reporters don’t hate feature leads. They hate crappy feature leads.
Instead of the conventional “today announced that” lead, why not make your release stand out from the crowd with a lead like this one, from Pfizer Animal Health:
“Imagine the first few hours in the recovery room following a hysterectomy or … ligament repair. Consider what post-surgical life has been like for some pets undergoing common surgical procedures; intense hours WITHOUT pain medication. …”
2. Lead with the benefits.
Want to get your story into Forbes?
“Present the key element … that explains how your story can benefit Forbes readers,” suggests Bruce Upbin, Forbes senior editor.
No surprise, then, that many Silver Anvil winners lead with the reader benefits. This example is from UnumProvident:
“Employers now have a better way to measure, monitor and manage employee absences, thanks to UnumProvident Corporation’s expanded online Comparative Reporting & Analysis information services.”
Beats by a mile the tired traditional approach: “UnumProvident Corporation today announced the expansion of its online Comparative Reporting & Analysis information services.”
3. Try a tipsheet.
Take the benefits approach to the furthest extreme, and you wind up with a value-added, or service, piece. Explain “how to,” and watch the media pick up your release. Some Silver Anvil-winning approaches:
- “Infuse your party with style: Tips and trends for a spectacular summer soiree,” from VOX vodka
- “Interview opportunity: Tips on how people can get more use out of their health coverage,” from Cigna
- “UPS offers 10 tips for worry-free packing, shipping”
4. Drag them in with your subject line.
“With print, at least they have to pick it up to throw it away,” says Pat Jones, a communicator at TDS Telecom.
Not so when you’re sending a pitch via e-mail. Online, you’re just one click of the delete key away from obscurity. Your only chance to get the message read: the subject line.
A provocative subject line, like this one from Enterpulse, can get your message opened:
“New survey stats for Internet ‘Death Penalty’”
This brisk pitch outlines Internet usage trends, including a “Silent Killer” that can keep people from returning to a company’s site.
5. Give great bio.
Do your executive or director bios read like a resume?
Snooze.
Wake your bios up with human-interest details and storytelling. Here’s a great example from Embassy Suites hotels:
“It all started (when) Carlton Calvin (was) reading a brief item in the Los Angeles Times about the growing popularity of push scooters in Japan. With a spark of creative thinking, Carlton, president of Razor USA LLC, spawned the ‘Razor scooter,’ one of the hottest trends to hit the United States within the last two years.”
Hint: “It all started when …” leads draw the reader in. The moment of creative inspiration is a great place to start an executive or director bio — or any story, for that matter.
6. Use human interest.
What’s more compelling: an announcement about custom-fitted breast prostheses? Or a “breast cancer survivor profile”?
Let people tell your story with leads like this one, from ContourMed:
“In 1989, Elizabeth McCann of Spring, Texas, felt a knot in her left breast. Her physician told her that she needed a biopsy, but was 99 percent sure it would be benign. McCann kept putting it off — until the pain in her breast woke her up at night. …”
Instead of just filling in the blanks, use any or all of these approaches when you write your next release or pitch. Make your copy creative and compelling, not just one more cliché.
Reach bloggers, journalists and readers
Want to master the art of writing successful media-relations materials?
- Read Ann’s “Anatomy of a Release, Pitch and E-mailed Release” toolkit.
- Get dozens of advanced PR writing tipsheets on RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s next “Anatomy of a News Release” teleseminar.
- Bring Ann to your organization for a PR writing workshop.
- Work with Ann to polish your PR writing with one-on-one writing coaching.
About Ann Wylie:
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2005 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
Take the ‘numb’ out of numbers
What’s $700 billion like?
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
Numbers numb.
But sometimes only numbers can demonstrate the depth or breadth of an issue. Make your statistics more meaningful by comparing them to something tangible and familiar to your audience. That’s what American Public Media’s Scott Jagow asked to help his audience members get their arms around the 2008 economic relief package tab in this broadcast (fast-forward to 7:43):
“It is hard to comprehend $700 billion, so I thought maybe we’d consider what else we could buy with that money. $700 billion would pay for about 600 gallons of gas for everyone in America, or we could build high-speed train routes from coast to coast. We could buy about 300 Hubble space telescopes or take a trip to the International Space Station 35,000 times. We could send 30 million kids to college for free, at public universities, or get a laptop for every child in the world.”
A laptop for every child in the world. OK, now I see.
1. Do the legwork.
I wish I could tell you it’s easy to develop a passage like this. But finding numerical comparisons takes a lot of research.
I found that out when I was writing an annual report about charitable giving in Kansas City. I wanted to compare the $770 million total amount Kansas Citians gave to charitable organizations in one year to make that number more meaningful to the audience. To track down the comparisons, I:
- Used the Business Journal’s Book of Lists to report that $770 million was “more than the annual revenues of Blue Cross/Blue Shield” and “more than the combined annual budgets of the metropolitan area’s three largest school districts.”
- Called the city’s economic development authority to find the city’s average wage. After a few minutes with my calculator, I was able to report that: “To achieve that amount, some 24,000 people would have to work full time for a year at Kansas City’s average hourly wage of $15.59.”
- Did the math. From the Book of Lists, I learned the size of the student body of one of the city’s largest school districts. I divided $770 million by the number of students. The result: in the neighborhood of $35,000 per student. Then I asked: “What would that buy that students might want?” (That helps you sync your metaphors with your topic.) My answer: some kind of car. That year, Jeeps were popular, so I …
- Called the local Jeep dealership to find out what kind of Jeep I could get for $35,000. As a result, I was able to report that $770 million was “more than enough to buy every student in the Kansas City, Kan., School District a brand-new, 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee.”
Doing the legwork for numerical comparisons is hard work. But it’s worth it to help readers comprehend your statistics.
2. Browse these resources for numerical comparison.
Looking for statistics to give your numbers context? These resources will help you find comparisons to make your numbers more interesting and understandable to your audience members:
- FedStats. This Website bills itself as “the gateway to statistics for over 100 federal agencies.” You’ll find statistics on everything from how much wine Americans drink (less than one-third of a gallon a year, which means I’m definitely upping the averages!) to the average income of Salt Lake Citians. Don’t miss MapStats for comprehensive data on the 50 states.
- ePodunk.com. Statistics, demographics and other information about 25,000 U.S. communities. If I were writing about a 20-minute surgical procedure for a health system client in my hometown, for instance, I’d do a little research here. Then I’d be able to report that the surgeon could perform the procedure in less time than it takes the average Kansas Citian to drive to work.
- Finding Data on the Internet. Journalist Robert Niles provides a list of helpful links to “reputable data on everything from public safety to campaign contributions.”
3. Make sure your comparison aids understanding.
The magic of metaphor in translating numbers is that you compare the unfamiliar to the familiar to aid understanding.
So when you compare, say, the cost of a new program to a stack of dollar bills that go to the moon and back, you have to ask yourself how familiar that is. How many of your audience members have been to the moon and back?
Don’t let statistics stultify your copy. Every time your finger reaches for the top row of the keyboard, ask yourself: “What can I compare this to?”
The result: clear, compelling copy — regardless of how complex your numbers may be.
Take the ‘numb’ out of numbers
Want to master the art of making statistics more interesting and understandable?
- Read Ann’s “Clarify Complex Copy” toolkit.
- Download her “Take the Numb Out of Numbers” e-book (free to RevUpReadership.com Gold members)
- Get dozens of tipsheets on clarifying complex concepts with comparison on RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s next “Take the ‘Numb’ Out of Numbers” teleseminar.
- Bring Ann to your organization for a workshop on Making Your Copy More Creative or Taking the ‘Numb’ Out of Numbers.
- Work with Ann to polish your writing with one-on-one writing coaching.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2009 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
Model the masters
Find a mentor in your favorite publications and Websites
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
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I recently sent one of my pals a plea for reading recommendations.
“Read The Confessions of Nat Turner by William Styron,” he replied. “Read everything by William Styron. Then write like him.”
Not bad advice. After all, as communicators, we can learn a lot from the masters of our crafts — the William Styrons, the P.J. O’Rourkes, the folks who have earned Silver Anvils and other awards.
Consider this your invitation to model the masters, to learn new techniques by studying your favorite communicators’ work. It’s the best way I know to improve your skills.
Here’s a six-step process to get you started:
1. Browse the best.
If you’re going to model the masters, you need to look at the masters — the best communications being produced in any field. For me, “the best stuff” includes:
- The leads, kickers and classic feature structure of The Wall Street Journal
- Men’s Health’s tricks for packaging basic how-to information into compelling articles and departments
- Warren Buffett’s methods for bringing the driest financial formulas to life through humor, anecdote and metaphor
- Southwest Airline’s ability to make how-to-fasten-your-seatbelt information amusing enough to pay attention to
- Approaches used by other award-winning writers, editors and webmasters
So ask yourself, “What communications do I most admire?” Then add those to your regular reading and review list.
2. Forage more widely.
The next step is to forage more widely, or to make sure you’re looking at great pieces of communication — not just the ones you need to gather information and conduct transactions in your daily life.
One way I forage more widely is to look at winners of major communication competitions. For instance, I follow the winners of the National Magazine Awards — which explains why I subscribe to New York even though I live in Missouri and to Parenting even though I have no children.
3. Read like a writer.
As you study the masters, make sure you’re reading as a writer, not just as a reader. Readers read for information and entertainment. Writers read for information and entertainment, too. But they also read for something else: technique.
Another writer might introduce you to a new way of crafting a headline, constructing a metaphor or structuring a story.
As William Faulkner said, “Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it.”
4. Clip it.
Next, start a clip file of the pieces you admire most.
- Rip out articles that do a stellar job of demonstrating the WIIFM to the reader.
- Bookmark Websites that allow visitors to experience a new process, service or product instead of just reading about it.
- Copy magazine articles that offer good examples of “telling and selling” the story in the headlines, subheads, callouts and captions.
One guideline to follow: Whenever you hear yourself saying, “I wish I’d created that,” “that” goes into the clip file.
5. Study it.
Now that you have a file bulging with great communication samples, go through it again. This time, take each piece apart and put it back together until you understand why you like it and what the communicator did to make it that way.
6. Steal the techniques (not the words).
Now it’s time to model the masters, or pattern your pieces after the best talent in the field.
Note: We’re not talking about plagiarism here. I once outlined this approach to a group of communicators in a seminar. At the break, one of the participants pulled me aside and proudly explained how she collected The Wall Street Journal headlines — then used them verbatim in her own newsletter.
Yikes! That’s not modeling. That’s plagiarizing.
The key to modeling the masters is to steal the techniques, not the words. Modeling the masters means getting inspiration from the very best communicators out there, then adapting their approaches — not adopting them, but adapting them — to your own work.
Try it yourself. Feel free to borrow and improve on other communicators’ methods. It’s a widely practiced form of flattery. Take whatever you can, and keep T.S. Eliot’s advice close to heart.
“Amateurs plagiarize,” he said. “Real writers steal.”
Open the Creativity Toolbox
Want to come up with fresh ways of telling the same old story?
- Bring Ann to your organization for a workshop on Opening the Creativity Toolbox.
- Get dozens of tipsheets on developing creative story approaches at RevUpReadership.com.
- Get ideas for making your own communications more creative with a communication review.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
About Ann Wylie
Copyright © 2003 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
Make your copy clear and concise
The easier your story is to read, the more people will read it
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
“The dirtiest four-letter word in the English language: read.”
— Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics Web site
Is your copy easy to read?
According to communication experts, that’s one of the two key questions people ask to determine whether to read a piece — or whether to toss it.
Here are four tips for crafting copy that’s clear and concise. Because the easier your copy is to read, the more people will read it.
1. Google clearer definitions.
Need to define a technical term in clear, easy-to-understand language?
Google can help.
Just type “define: term” in the search box. You’ll get a list of definitions for your term on the Web.
When customizing an on-site writing workshop for a utility company, I wanted to see whether there was a better way to define kilowatt hour, or kWh, for consumers. I knew that a kWh was the work performed by one kilowatt of electric power in one hour. It’s also the basic measure of electric energy use.
So I searched “define: kwh.”
As you might expect, many of the definitions weren’t very helpful. “One kilowatt hour = 3412 Btu Per hour,” for instance, didn’t move the definition forward. Nor did “The equivalent of 3,600,000 Joules.”
But I did find one helpful image: “A 100-watt light bulb burning for 10 hours uses one kilowatt hour.”
Add an image like that to your definition, and you can paint a picture in your readers’ minds, helping them to literally “see” the technical concept.
That’s what master writers aim to do. And Google can help.
2. Think packages, not pieces.
No doubt about it: Your readers would rather read a short piece than a long piece.
One good way to reduce the length of your copy is to focus each piece on a single message point. You say you have six messages? Then you have six pieces —not one long, unwieldy piece.
That’s what we call “redirection,” or breaking your story into multiple pieces. In addition to your main story, you might repackage your piece into:
- Sidebars
- Boxes
- Lists
- Related stories
- Web sidebars
- Freestanding vignettes
- Fun facts, trivia or other marginalia
You might even consider serializing your story, or breaking your piece into short chapters or segments to run over time.
3. Vary paragraph length.
Readers make an at-a-glance decision about your copy based on visual cues. Paragraph length is among the most important signals you send to readers about how easy and interesting your copy is to read.
If your paragraphs are too thick, the story looks slow and off-putting, for example. And if they’re all the same length, the story can feel monotonous, says Jacqui Banaszynski, assistant managing editor at The Seattle Times. She holds the Knight Chair in Journalism at the University of Missouri School of Journalism.
So how do you know?
Print your copy out in columns and eyeball it, Banaszynski advises. If your paragraphs all look the same, you’re probably not getting enough rhythm into your piece.
In that case, recast some paragraphs to vary their length.
4. Make sure the subject is doing the verb.
PR pro Loring Leifer was surprised on reviewing an engineer’s contribution to a company newsletter to find that it was absolutely free of the passive voice. When Leifer praised the engineer, he said:
I know each sentence needs a subject and a verb, and that the subject should be doing the verb.
Let’s put it on a T-shirt! That’s as good an explanation as I’ve heard about how to write in the active voice.
Here are some other ways to activate the passive voice:
- Identify passive sentences —and get suggested rewrites —via Microsoft Word’s grammar check. It’s fine to do this, but a pro can spot the passive without tech support. Which brings us to …
- Understand the passive voice. Many writers, confused about the passive voice, believe every sentence that contains a form of the verb “to be” is passive. Not so. A sentence is passive only when it uses the object-verb-subject or object-verb structure. Otherwise, it’s just a sentence with a weak verb.
- Search for the words “was” and “by.” The “was …” or “was … by” construction is a clue to the passive voice.
Once you find passive sentences, activate the passive voice. Your sentences should explain who did what to whom.
Cut Through the Clutter
Want to master the art of making all your copy clearer and more concise?
- Read Ann’s “Cut Through the Clutter” manual.
- Get dozens of “Cut Through the Clutter” tipsheets on RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s next “Cut Through the Clutter” teleseminar.
- Bring Ann to your organization for a “Cut Through the Clutter” workshop.
- Work with Ann to Cut Through the Clutter in one-on-one writing coaching.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2006 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
Lead with the benefits
Put the reader’s needs first, your organization’s offer second
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
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Quick! Which would you rather read: a story about David Barton Gym? Or one about how to look better naked?
The gym is a feature. “Look better naked” is a benefit. (It’s also the slogan of David Barton Gym, New York’s celebrity body-sculpting palace.)
As writers, we tend to focus too much on our stuff — the gym — and not enough on reader benefits — looking better naked. Do more of the latter and less of the former, and you’re sure to boost readership.
Benefits writing gets read
Benefits writing has never been more important.
That’s because Americans are bombarded with information —more than 5,000 messages a day, according to some statistics.
In this environment, readers select a fraction of the stack of information they get each day. That tiny sliver of the stack is all they’ll read. The rest, they toss.
To make sure your communication is among that minute amount of information your readers will actually read, you need to think like a reader.
That is, you need to focus on your readers’ needs instead of just on your organization’s products, services and programs. You need to make your copy more relevant and valuable to your reader.
The best way to do that? Write about reader benefits.
Put the benefits first
An easy formula to use to write about reader benefits is to lead with the benefits and substantiate with the features.
That means focus on your reader’s needs first, then follow up with your organization and its products, services and programs.
| Lead with the benefits | Substantiate with the features |
| Look better naked … | … at David Barton Gym |
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These benefits leads from PRSA Silver Anvil-winning campaigns are great models of leading with the benefits and substantiating with the features. (The Silver Anvil is PRSA’s highest honor for excellence in public relations.)
| Lead with the benefits | Substantiate with the features |
| Employers now have a better way to measure, monitor and manage employee absences … | … thanks to UnumProvident Corporation’s (NYSE: UNM) expanded online Comparative Reporting & Analysis (CR&A) information services. |
| Do you dread shopping for new appliances? Are you tired of being bumped in narrow aisles, searching for customer assistance and even purchasing appliances that don’t fit your needs? | If so, the new Northridge-area Maytag store was designed just for you. |
| On average, an employer can expect that ten percent of its employee population will be out on a disability leave during the course of the year. To help employers better understand the types of disabilities affecting their industries and how targeted workplace solutions can mitigate associated costs and employee absences … | … MetLife has made available The MetLife Series on Championing Productivity … |
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Make the switch
Sometimes, a small switch is all you need to put the benefits first. This one leads with the company name:
XYZ Corporation (NYSE: XYZ) today announced that print and copy costs can be reduced up to 20 percent with our new ABC product.
Instead, move the readers and their benefits to the top of the piece:
| Lead with the benefits | Substantiate with the features |
| Organizations can reduce their print and copy costs up to 20 percent … | … with XYZ Corporation’s (NYSE: XYZ) new ABC product. |
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Next time you write a press release, brochure or newsletter article, put the reader benefits first.
And if you have trouble remembering why that’s important, ask yourself, “Would I rather go to the gym? Or would I rather look better naked?”
Move readers to act
Want to master the art of writing copy that sells, not just products and services, but programs, plans and positions, as well?
- Read Ann’s “Think Like a Reader” toolkit.
- Get dozens of tipsheets on persuasive writing at RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s next “Think Like a Reader” teleseminar.
- Bring Ann to your organization for a “Think Like a Reader” workshop.
- Work with Ann to Think Like a Reader in one-on-one writing coaching.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2006 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
A note to editors:
Please feel free to run this story complete with the promotion, full author’s bio and copyright line. Sorry, we do not grant permission to publish without the promotion, full author’s bio and copyright line.
Feature-style story structure increases readership
Inverted-pyramids take a beating in studies and trends
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
a
Writers say, “We use the inverted pyramid because readers stop reading after the first paragraph.”
Readers say, “We stop reading after the first paragraph because writers use the inverted pyramid.”
Before you pound out your next pyramid, check out these studies and trends:
Feature-style writing makes readers read more
Feature-style writing increases the chance that readers will spend more time with a communication, read it more completely and read it more often.
That was “one of the most thought-provoking discoveries” of “Impact,” a study by the Readership Institute. Sponsored by the Newspaper Association of America and the American Society of Newspaper Editors, the Institute was created to identify ways to reverse declining trend in newspaper readership.
The study also found that feature-style writing:
- Increases reader satisfaction
- Is easier to read than the traditional inverted-pyramid news approach
- Improves a communication’s image, making it seem more honest, fun, neighborly, intelligent, in the know and in touch with the values of its readers
That’s a pretty big “impact.”
Inverted pyramids score low in readership
Traditional, inverted-pyramid stories:
- “Do not work well with readers,” and “do not justify their predominance in today’s newspapers”
- Score low in readership and understanding
- Make a mediocre showing in “involvement,” or whether the story made readers care about the news
That’s according to “Ways with Words,” a study by the American Society of Newspaper Editors and The Poynter Institute.
The study tested four types of structures:
- The traditional inverted pyramid
- A narrative, or storytelling structure
- Commentary, which tells a story from a viewpoint
- Radical clarity, which gives extra background and context to “explain everything the reader might need explained”
“Ways with Words” researchers identified two inherent problems with the inverted pyramid:
- “The story gets more boring as the reader reads down.”
- “Journalists put background and context in the second half of the pyramid, so the reader who does not know that background cannot understand the top of the story. As a result, only journalists and sources can fully understand inverted-pyramid stories.”
Et tu, AP?
Even The Associated Press is rethinking its commitment to the traditional, “just the facts, ma’am” news approach of the inverted pyramid, according to a recent article in The New York Times.
The nation’s dominant news service is now sending a feature lead in addition to a news lead with its stories. The feature leads are designed to “draw in the reader through imagery, narrative devices, perspective or other creative means,” according to the wire service.
Why the change? The 156-year-old news agency is trying to reach more readers in a competitive information environment. AP leaders believe feature leads are one way to do that.
That’s a far cry from who, what, when, where, why and how.
Use features for hard news
The feature-style story structure doesn’t mean fluff. The best writers can use the feature-style format for hard business, economic, political, environmental and other news.
The feature-style structure:
- Organizes information into a beginning, middle and end
- Includes more colorful details and language
- May use human interest or narrative to illustrate the issues
Use this approach to engage readers about any topic.
Give the pyramid a break
There are still times when the inverted pyramid is the best choice for a story. But writers must also master a structure that works when the inverted pyramid doesn’t.
And that’s the feature-style structure.
Bottom line: If you’re still married to the inverted pyramid, you’re missing the mark.
Build a solid structure
Want to master a story structure that increases readership instead of cutting it short?
- Get dozens of tipsheets on the feature-style story structure at RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s next “Beyond the Inverted Pyramid” teleseminar.
- Bring Ann to your organization for a “Go Beyond the Inverted Pyramid” workshop.
- Work with Ann on developing the feature-style story structure in one-on-one writing coaching.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2005 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
Write the most important piece of copy on your web page
Summary blurbs may be the only things site visitors read
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
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The summary blurb under the headline does the heavy lifting on a Web page. According to the Eyetrack III study of online behavior:
- 95 percent of visitors to a page read all or part of the blurb. That’s huge when compared with readership stats for any other element on the page.
- People spend five to 10 seconds, on average, looking at the blurb. It seems like a flash — but that’s substantial in online time.
- The blurb, in fact, “may be the only thing many readers view,” Eyetrack III researchers say.
Why, then, do so many Website templates drop the summary blurb?
Summary blurbs and headlines can create a powerful one-two punch on a Web page. But too often, writers neglect these essential pieces of microcontent — or, worse, skip them altogether.
And that’s a crime. Because microcontent — the headlines, summary blurbs, subheads and other “small” pieces of Web copy — actually do most of the communicating online.
Here’s how to write headlines and summary blurbs that actually reach readers online.
Write Web headlines that get the word out online
Web headlines help visitors find what they’re looking for and know that they’ve reached the right page. To write effective online headlines:
Clearly state what’s on the page. I love clever, cryptic headlines in print. But they don’t work online.
That’s because Web headlines are likely to be picked up, listed on an index page and linked to the article. So they need to be clear and easy to understand regardless of whether the reader sees them within the context of the rest of the Web page.
One telecomm company’s Website features such headlines as “Openness — the road to success” (a conference), “A sign of attitude” (cool phones) and “Change your perspectives” (jobs for IT folks). If you’re writing about conferences, phones and jobs, those words should appear in the headlines.
The point is to communicate, not to intrigue. So strive for clarity instead of creativity. Tell, don’t tease.
Focus on the front. Web headlines have less than one second to get attention, according to Eyetrack III, the latest Web-reading study by The Poynter Institute.
So, the researchers say, “the first couple of words need to be real attention-getters if you want to capture eyes.”
To focus on the front:
- Lead with the topic name. Instead of “How to manage the approval process,” make it “Approval Process Blues: How to manage the review system.” That will help you reach readers scanning for “approval” instead of “how.”
- Skip leading articles for the same reason. Indexes and other lists are often alphabetical. So don’t bury the topic behind “a,” “an” or “the” — unless you want your piece to be listed under “A” or “T.”
- Move company and publication names to the end of the headline. So “Invest Online . . . at H&R Block,” not “H&R Block Online Investing.”
(Tip: Check out your organization’s index of press releases for a “how not to” example of headlines that make lists easy to scan. Chances are, they all lead with the organization’s name and not the topic of the release.)
Keep it short. Encapsulate your story in eight words or less. That’s the number of words readers can understand easily at a glance, according to research by The American Press Institute.
Follow up with a summary blurb
Summary blurbs are probably the most important piece of copy on your Web page. To develop a summary blurb that tells —and sells — your story online:
- Don’t drop the summary blurb. If your template doesn’t include a summary blurb, add one soonest. I know, I know. That means doing battle with IT. Pick up the phone. Schedule a meeting. It’s worth it. The summary blurb is probably the most important element on your Web page — and, alas, the most undervalued by writers and developers.
- Don’t tease. The purpose of your summary blurb isn’t to trick visitors into reading the page. The best summary blurb encapsulate the key ideas so well that visitors can get the gist of the story without reading the text.
- Be pithy. Keep your summary blurb to a sentence or two.
Reach readers online
Want to master the art of writing for the Web?
- Read Ann’s Web-writing learning tools.
- Get dozens of tipsheets on reaching readers online at RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s upcoming teleseminars on writing for the Web and social media.
- Bring Ann to your organization for a Web-writing workshop.
- Work with Ann to polish your Web writing skills with one-on-one writing coaching sessions.
- Subscribe to our free writing tips e-zine.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2005 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
Develop an approval process that doesn’t drive you nuts
How to run the review process so it doesn’t run you
by Ann Wylie, president, Wylie Communications Inc.
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“Sign on a newspaper reporter’s desk: ‘The strongest desire is neither love nor hate. It is one person’s need to change another person’s copy.’”
— Gilbert Cranberg,
Columbia Journalism Review
When I worked at one company, I once had to have — no lie — 100 people review and approve an article I’d written for our employee annual report. (Lest you wonder, this was not the story where we revealed that the company was producing nuclear arms for sale to Iraq.) Needless to say, it took much longer for me to run the approval process on that story than to research, write and edit the piece in the first place.
I’m not alone.
My training business takes me across the United States, Canada and Europe, working in-house with corporate communicators who want to improve their copy, reach more readers with their press releases or make their Websites clearer and more engaging. Wherever I go — from Boston to Brussels, Portland to Paris, Hollywood to Helsinki — communicators tell me the same thing:
The approval process drives them nuts.
No doubt about it, the worst part of the communication business is, in the words of Ragan Communications editor David Murray, “the grinding, gut-wrenching, soul-sapping approval process required to get a company to say anything at all.”
A flawed approval process can cost an organization time, talent, credibility, quality and money. I once worked with an organization that consistently took more than a year to approve a single product brochure. The result: months and months of lost or reduced sales.
Still, I wouldn’t want to live without an approval process. (I, for one, never want to spend a day giving a deposition because of something I wrote in a press release.)
So the goal isn’t to do away with the approval process. The goal is to come up with an approval process that does the job without driving you nuts. The long-term way to do that is to take back the approval process. That’s an approach that takes more than a single article to describe.
But, short term, here are four steps you can implement tomorrow for developing a process that works:
1. Rename it.
Why do we call it an approval process? “Approval process” suggests that we’re asking for approval — for permission, consent, authorization, say-so.
And we’re not. We’re asking for help.
So instead of asking your content experts to approve the copy, ask them for help. Ask them to review the story, to check for errors, to assure there are no inaccuracies.
Call it a review, a fact check or a technical verification.
That will change expectations and reduce the chances that Bob in accounting will use your copy to play out his fantasy that he’s red-pen-wielding Mrs. Robb, his third-grade English teacher, grading your paper.
2. Stop e-mailing Word docs.
In the short run, sending out digital copy makes your life easier. Punch “send,” and you’ve distributed the story to all the reviewers.
But in the long run, sending out digital copy makes your life harder. That’s because digital copy invites wholesale rewriting. (After all, armed with a screen full of text and the Highlight Changes tool, you’d hack away at the copy, too, wouldn’t you?)
Instead of e-mailing Word documents, try faxing, distributing via interoffice mail or e-mailing PDFs. This makes indiscriminate revising difficult for the reviewer.
You want your content experts to mark up your copy with a pen, on paper, not slash it to pieces on screen.
3. Push back.
Yesterday afternoon, I was coaching a writer whose lawyers had scraped all the demographic information out of a “Who’s our customer?” story. The resulting piece announced that their average customer was a . . . human . . . of some age or other, with or without income, who lived somewhere.
Me: “Why did they take the details out?”
She: “They don’t want it to fall into the hands of competitors.”
I pointed out that competitive secrets are really a marketing issue, not a legal one. The folks in marketing felt comfortable releasing the information; they had already approved the story. Given that, why were the lawyers concerned?
Now, there might have been a privacy issue or some other real legal problem with releasing those numbers. The point is, we should understand the legal — or other — counsel we’re given. If the lawyers think they’re protecting us from ourselves in issues outside their area of expertise, we need to know so we can decide what to do with their advice.
4. Make a difference.
Finally, here’s the best way to make sure you never have to grovel over commas again: Produce communications that make a difference.
If the powers-that-be see you as nothing more than a comma jockey, they won’t think twice before making changes. But once you start documenting the bottom-line benefits your communications are delivering to your organization it’s amazing how your executives and colleagues will stop worrying about whether you’re running the headlines in bold face or italics.
Become a real player, and the review process becomes a whole new game.
Improve approvals
Want to master the art of managing the approval process?
- Read Ann’s “Develop an Approval Process That Doesn’t Drive You Nuts” handbook.
- Get dozens of tipsheets on managing the approval process at RevUpReadership.com.
- Find Ann’s out about Ann’s next “Develop an Approval Process That Doesn’t Drive You Nuts” teleseminar.
About Ann Wylie
Ann Wylie is president of Wylie Communications Inc., a training, writing and consulting firm. She works with communicators who want to reach more readers and with organizations that want to get the word out. Wylie is the author of RevUpReadership.com, a toolbox for writers, and Wylie’s Writing Tips, a free e-zine. She has earned more than 60 awards, including two IABC Gold Quills, for her work.
Copyright © 2005 Ann Wylie. All rights reserved.
